BUZZWORD COMPLIANT DICTIONARY
S

Safe Harbor Statement: A disclaimer allowed by the U.S. Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995 that protects a company in the event it doesn't live up to all its own hype.
Nominated by Roy Bates

safety droids: Safety team members who roam the workplace looking for any conceivable violation in order to justify their jobs. They're always on the lookout for new hazardous situations (like coffee cups without lids) to add to the existing rules.
Nominated by Al Prall

sailboat fuel: Reference used by truckers, pilots, etc., to describe an empty trailer or plane. "He's hauling sailboat fuel." Also can refer to someone's intelligence. "He's got sailboat fuel for brains."
Nominated by Steve Woodsmall

salad dodger: Someone who is overweight. "What does he look like?" "Well, he's a bit of a salad dodger."
Nominated by Marie Dakin

salmon day: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
Nominated by Don Steffen

Sarbox: Consultant-speak for the Sarbanes-Oxley Act of 2002, which requires top execs to personally validate their performance. Intended result: Corporate financial results the public can trust. Actual result: More jobs for consultants selling Sarbox expertise.
Nominated by Arlyn Moulder

sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Nominated by Jeff Kirk

S.A.V.: A Tom Peters term for experimentation. Screw Around Vigorously. It comes with the admonition -- "For God's sake! Don't just stand there. TRY SOMETHING!"

scanlation or scanslation: A reference to scanning in Japanese manga comics and then translating the Japanese characters into English (or another language), and then posting them to the Internet. Not only is it stealing, the translations are generally awful.
Nominated by Laurel Sutton

scanner head: One who obsessively monitors fire and police scanners. Scanner heads are a small but devoted subculture of hobbyists whose days are consumed with the near-constant buzz of scanner traffic.
Nominated by Mark Worden

scaremail: Any e-mail circulated en masse that includes the latest "scare," such as LSD-laced postage stamps or needles being placed on gas pump handles, etc. Most are urban legends run amok.
Nominated by G. Johnson

schadenfreude: Take malicious satisfaction in the misfortune of others. A German term that's increasingly popping up in U.S. media. Apparently there isn't an English word that is adequate.
Nominated by Chuck Young

SCLM: Term used by liberals who don't think the So-Called-Liberal-Media is liberal enough. Of course, conservatives call it the "mainstream media."

Scooby snacks: Token compensation, generally non-monetary, given as an award. "All we got for pulling that project out the fire was Scooby snacks -- two ‘extra’ casual days." Taken from the cartoon "Scooby-Doo."
Nominated by John Webb

scope creep: When a project continues to grow after the contract has been signed. In the end, the vendor does more work than it gets paid for.
Nominated by Melissa Theil

screensucking: Wasting time sitting in front of any screen - computer, video game, TV. "He missed his deadline because he spent the afternoon screensucking."

screwdriver shop: A "mom and pop" shop where computers are slapped together with little more than a screwdriver.
Nominated by Matt Constantine

scrub, scrubbing: In the current climate, "scrubbing" refers to the removal of information or pages from a Web site that could be considered useful to terrorists.
Nominated by Mary Parker

seagull platform: Generally a break room or common area, where food is left out for employees to eat. Donuts, bagels, etc. One minute they're there. The next they're gone.
Nominated by John Kosciusko

seamless, seamlessly: One of the great technology marketing myths. "Our software can be seamlessly integrated into your current system." Truth: It’s never seamless and it takes an extra nine months and $2.3 million to get it close.
Nominated by Ted Arnold

Second.Coming: Although the dot-coms imploded in 2000, e-commerce has exploded since. With the Internet reaching global mass, the "Second.Coming" is upon us. This time the innovative ideas are backed by sound business practices.

security theater: A very public display of security (visible guards, etc) used as window dressing to mask the fact there’s actually a lack of security.
Nominated by Mark Worden

self-licking ice cream cone: An organization or department that has no purpose except to serve itself. The term is thought to have originated in government (mostly like the Pentagon).
Nominated by Shane Michaels

self-provision: Buzz-speak for “do it yourself.” “They can either self-provision or submit a request to the business unit.”
Nominated by Lee Benjamin

SEP: Someone Else's Problem. "Let's outsource production and make it SEP."
Nominated by Richard Beanland

Sept. 10: Anything that's outdated, old-fashioned or no longer cool. Used to describe the world that existed prior to Sept. 11, 2001. "That dress is so Sept. 10."
Nominated by Steve Hannaford

serial monogamist: An individual who fervently believes in having only one dating or love interest at a time and has a string of failed relationships to prove it.
Nominated by Michael Troiano

shake and bake: Something that has its foundations quickly assembled and is then left to its own devices to evolve into its completed state. "Let the project shake and bake and see what they turn up." Comes from the Kraft food coating Shake 'N Bake. It's also a basketball move.
Nominated by Scott Burge

sheeple: Have you felt herded lately? Do you blindly go where everyone else is going? Sheeple are folks who follow like sheep.

showmance: A romance, primarily orchestrated for show (and publicity). Long a practice of Hollywood stars, it's now a staple of reality TV.
Nominated by Kasia Zielinski

shortening the path to profitability: It’s what companies day when they reduce staff size in hopes of putting their companies in the black. "We’re not cutting back, we’re shortening the path to profitability."

shortfalls in compliance: Failure to adhere to proper procedures. Example: When queried about the mishandling of files regarding a suspect, the FBI spokesperson responded, "Well, we have recently experienced some shortfalls in compliance."
Nominated by Andy Siegel

shoulder-surfer: Someone who tries to peek over your shoulder to steal your password as you withdraw money from an ATM machine or log on to a computer.

shovel-ready: A construction project that already has received its approvals and permits from various governmental agencies and is ready for development. Example: The site is shovel-ready.
Nominated by Aunt Shecky

sidewalk meeting:  A meeting held on the sidewalk outside the building where managers make plans, decisions and coalitions -- while grabbing a quick smoke. Also see Open Air Conference Room.
Nominated by Michael Troiano

silica-based environmental interface: A window.
Nominated by Kaye Felgate

Silicon Alley: An unoriginal attempt by New Yorkers to convince the world they’re geeks, too.

Silicon Valley: A place where two-bedroom, one-bathroom bungalows sell for $500,000. Also known as the area south of San Francisco and north of San Jose where more geeks live than any other place on earth.

silos: Pockets of information isolated in one department of a company and not shared with other departments. Generally this is a limitation of technology, but can also be the result of petty office politics.
Nominated by Signy Freyseng

silver bullet: In war, it's an infallible attack or defense. In business, it's a guaranteed solution to a problem. In horror fiction, it's what kills the werewolf. And as noted by U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, there's no single silver bullet in the fight against terrorism.
Nominated by Ananth Srinivas

silver ceiling: Management bias that stymies older workers from rising further up the corporate ladder. Instead younger employees with "potential" get the nod.

simonized: To be verbally bludgeoned, insulted or trashed. As perfected by "American Idol" judge Simon Cowell. "Jennifer really got simonized." Mug, shirts available

sinkie: One who (at least occasionally) dines over the kitchen sink. It's an acronym for Standing In Nutritious Kitchens Ingesting Everything. Don't believe us? Check out Norm Hankoff's Web site: www.sinkie.com
Nominated by Norm Hankoff

sip and click: To click when under the influence. The result is often online purchases you can't remember buying until the packages start arriving.
Nominated by Mark Worden

situ-mercial: A cleverly designed TV commercial that matches the tone and style of the show in which it appears, therefore making it difficult to distinguish where the show ends and the ad begins. (Until the actor quips, “Geico saved me a bunch of money,” of course.)
Nominated by Steve Hannaford

six-inch calibration: Closely related to "percussive maintenance," it refers to lifting a piece of equipment approximately six inches and dropping it onto a hard surface to see if that will make it start working again.
Nominated by John Tate

skilling: The well-timed stripping of assets so as to furnish a getaway. Coined by David Thomson in a Salon.com article in reference to former Enron COO Jeffrey Skilling, who made "a skilling" by cashing in $66 million in stock before resigning.

skyscraper: A tall ad or column that runs on either side of a Web page.
Nominated by Joeth Barlas

slabs of meet: A cluster of big, wannabe athletes that gather around giant plasma TVs to watch sporting events, such as the Super Bowl, etc. In honor of the "slabs of meet" typo in last week's definition of "mancation."
Nominated by Dave Perkins for his friend Gord Pushee who first defined the term

slaptops: With technology being one of the leading causes of "desk rage," victims are unleashing their frustrations by attacking their office PCs -- aptly renamed "slaptops."
Nominated by John Merritt

Slashdotted: When a Web site is overwhelmed by a rush of Internet traffic. Named for the deluge of visitors that hammers a Web site after its URL gets posted on a popular Web site such as www.slashdot.org.
Nominated by Mark Worden

slayspeak: The special lingo of vampire hunters/slayers as given to us by TV's "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." This "slanguage" includes gems like "slayage" -- the art of vampire extermination -- and "sliceage" -- the slicing and dicing of vampires. Also known as buffyisms.
Nominated by Mark Worden

sleeper bug: Technology's version of the terrorist sleeper cell. It's a software bug programmed to awaken at a future date and cause havoc.
Nominated by Max Matthews

sloptions: They're stock options that are not worth feeding to the hogs. After the dot-com crash, there were a lot of sloptions out there. But as we've seen lately, sloptions are not a creation of the Internet economy. They've been around for years.
Nominated by Gary Frey

smash-mouth: Smash-mouth football has been around for ages, but  the XFL brought the term back into vogue. In the past year, there have been references to smash-mouth poetry, smash-mouth politics, smash-mouth sarcasm, smash-mouth advertising, etc. Looks like the term outlasted the XFL.

SME (subject matter expert): Once when businesses needed answers, they would go to the appropriate person and "pick their brain." Now those people have an official title: Subject Matter Expert or SME. Example: When evaluating a new accounting software package, the IS department will go to the accounting department and check with the accounting SME to make sure all of the bases are covered.
Nominated by Carol Bradbury

smogging: In sales, it means "blowing smoke" -- a hype-laden pitch that makes promises the salesperson can't keep. In California, it's the process of getting your car to pass the state's emissions test.
Nominated by Scott Haddon

smotherage: A form of media overkill. When a news organization covers an event (generally of little significance) with multiple reporters, producing stories on every conceivable angle and providing perspectives almost no one is interested in.
Nominated by Lori Schug

SMSing: Sending messages from cell phone to cell phone. Short and sweet, users have developed a cryptic writing style that eliminates letters. AFAIK CU 2NITE. Translation: As far as I know, I'll see you tonight. Also known as texting. The more mundane, technical definition: Short Message System.

SNAG: Sensitive New Age Guy. Describes the ponytail, Birkenstock, Dave Mathews, guitar in the backyard with a big dog, always giving you a hug whether you want one or not type of guy.
Nominated by Billy McCormac

sneezers: People who help spread an "ideavirus," which is a nifty marketing concept created by author Seth Godin. By "sneezing," they infect others who then go out and buy Seth’s latest book. Once upon a time it was called "word of mouth."

snowplows: The early adopters of a new product or technology.  As in, "You guys are the snowplows.  We'll follow once you've worked out the kinks."
Nominated by Rod Bartlett

soccerati: The soccer intelligentsia. Includes players, fans (particularly celebrities) and the occasional hooligan, who are totally obsessed and immersed in the culture and lifestyle of soccer. T-shirt, mug available.
Nominated by Mark Worden

socialize the idea: To spread an idea with the hope that familiarity will gain it acceptance or build a consensus. Also used as a way of "flying" a trial balloon. "Let's socialize the idea and see what happens."
Nominated by Sue Pietrowski

socially produced: In the Internet world, it's a Web site that derives its content primarily from a group of unpaid volunteers or from visitors to the site who add their two cents worth. Wikipedia is a socially-produced site.

social software: The core beliefs and norms of behavior that are really what makes a company run. "At EDS, we work hard on our 'social software,' because it's at the core of how we get things done."
Nominated by Ralph Buck

SODDI defense: Some Other Dude Did It. A defense team strategy that contends there were ample opportunities for someone other than their client to have committed the crime.

sofa samurai:  Someone without military experience (often by making a concerted effort to avoid serving) who now froths at the mouth for war. A modern day chicken hawk.
Nominated by Mark Worden

SOFE: Significant Other Forced Event. Any event your spouse or significant other is obligated to attend -- preferably with a date. Pssst! That means you. (pronounced so-fee).
Nominated by Vanessa Witmer

so 15 minutes ago: Out-dated, out of fashion, passé, etc. "That idea is so 15 minutes ago."
Nominated by Eileen Blass

soft copy: An electronic or non-paper copy of a document. The printed version is called "hard copy."
Nominated by Heidi Leinonen

soft-sided luggage: An employee whose talent and multi-tasking abilities allows him or her to take on assignment after assignment. They seemingly expand (like soft-side luggage) to handle the workload. Of course, they completely collapse on weekends.
Nominated by Mike High

soft skills: Non-technical skills, such as the ability to communicate, problem-solve, empathize, be courteous, etc. Long assumed that these employee skills are naturally occurring, businesses are only now coming to the realization that their employees lack the soft skills to deal with others.
Nominated by Chris Boivin

SOHO: Small Office/Home Office. A phenomenon that was fueled by personal computers and the Internet during the 1990s.
Nominated by Max Matthews

solistening: The act of soliciting information from customers, while listening to their needs at the same time.
Nominated by  Lisa McIntosh

solution stack: Techie way of describing a line of products or services that thoroughly address a single (but broad) problem. "We have a comprehensive solution stack that includes the technology, services and knowledge critical to protecting our customers' interests."
Nominated by Andreas Steude

space junk: The space-eating files on a computer that you suspect no longer have a purpose but are afraid to delete.
Nominated by  Patsy Evans

spaghetti marketing: To spend marketing dollars randomly without a clear plan, much like throwing spaghetti against the wall to see if it sticks.
Nominated by Lisa Gittleman

spam account: A secondary e-mail account, usually a free one from Hotmail or Yahoo, that you give out to potential spammers. Contest entries and requests for commercial information often require an e-mail address, and frequently generate lots of spam later. When your spam account gets overwhelmed, you just dump it and get another free account.
Nominated by Kathy Thompson

spam count: The ratio of legitimate email to spam. "Since I started using a spam filter, my spam count's higher than ever. Go figure."
Nominated by  Dror Eyal

spamish: The insertion of symbols, numbers and spaces into words in an effort to fool today’s more sophisticated spam filters. Result: Sp&m g@ts throu?h the f!lters & !nt0 y0ur mai1b0x. And you still can understand it.
Nominated by  Franz Krachtus

spammified: When a legitimate e-mail ends up in your spam folder, which has also become the digital world's hottest excuse. "Sorry, I just got your message. It had been spammified."

spam-o-grams: Those free e-mail holiday greeting cards sent in bulk by “friends” who don’t think you’re worth the price of a stamp.
Nominated by  Elizabeth Dinan

spamvertise: To advertise by using spam. In most cases, the word spam alone is sufficient to describe such a practice.

special sauce: Business jargon referring to anything considered proprietary. "In the benchmarking study they openly discussed everything except the special sauce."
Nominated by Eric Hale

spinach cinema: A movie that’s supposedly “good for you,” but you dread having to see.

Spin Room: The room backstage following a presidential debate where “spokesmen” for each candidate are readily available to the media to explain what each candidate “really” said.

spin-up: To bring someone "up to speed" on the latest events or issues. "We'll need to spin-up the new CFO on the irregularities the auditors found."
Nominated by Linda Breuer

spit: First there was spam. Then spim (spam by instant messenger). Now get ready for spit (Spam Over Internet Telephony). It may not be a problem yet, but two companies have already filed patents to fight this new form of voicemail spam.
Nominated by Laurel Sutton

splog: A fake blog created by spammers as a home for their ads and scams. Of the 7,000 new blogs started each day, nearly 10% are now splogs. (Sorry, there's nothing funny about this one.)

SPOD: Spinning Pizza Of Death. Apple Macintosh equivalent of the Windows hourglass icon. Indicates that the computer is working and working and working and working . . . Also spelled SPoD by really hip geeks.
Nominated by Dave Linabury

Springer: A reference to the element of society that so often seems to be a guest or audience member of the Jerry Springer TV talk show. Examples: "I could have gotten it cheaper at Kmart, but I'm not into dealing with the Springer crowd today." "She's a nice girl but have you seen her family? Very Springer."
Nominated by Vanessa Witmer

squirt the bird: Upload data or info to a satellite. This one's been around a long time, but with the growing acceptance of satellite TV and satellite radio, we're squirting the bird a whole lot more these days.
Nominated by Brett Cunningham

squeeze & tease: The practice of shrinking and pushing aside the closing credits of a TV program to promo an upcoming show in order to keep your eyes glued to the screen and your hand off the remote control.
Nominated by Kevin Gillogly

Starsky: The person in every office who regularly volunteers to take control of the mouse or click the slides for someone else's demonstration or presentation. From the 1970s cop series "Starsky and Hutch," where Starsky always drove the car.
Nominated by John Gulliford

starter castle: A large house built on a lot so small there's no room for the moat. Generally resented by the neighbors for its ostentatious display of affluence -- and frequently bad taste.
Nominated by Max Matthews

starter marriage: In the U.S., the starter marriage has become the norm. It's a short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property -- and no regrets.

stateau: A statistical plateau, as in Barry Bonds will soon reach the 700 stateau.

staycation: A stay-at-home vacation. Thanks to high gas prices and the sluggish economy, that's all most of us can afford.
Nominated by Barry Lipton

staycheck: It's what struggling companies give employees to guarantee there'll be someone left to turn out the lights. Everywhere else it's called a paycheck.
Nominated by Steve Daniel

stealth parenting: The practice of claiming you have a business appointment or breakfast meeting to hide from a less-than-understanding boss the fact you are really taking your kids to school.

Stepford: In research focus groups and testing, a Stepford is a participant who is too eager to please. "That one isn't going to give honest feedback, she's too Stepford." Also: A sports fan who blindly supports a team, never questioning or doubting the wisdom of team management. "Flyers fans are real Stepford fans." From the sci-fi film, "The Stepford Wives."
Nominated by Fritz Liess

Stepford crowd: A handpicked or invitation-only crowd chosen to give the appearance that a political candidate has broad and enthusiastic support from the electorate. 
Nominated by Mark Worden

sticky: Trait given to Web sites with interesting enough content that actually gets you to stop and read it.

slacktivism: To engage in some form of activism (political, social, environmental, etc.) from the comfort of your computer or couch.
Nominated by Ann Pence

stockalypse: That sinking, end of the world feeling produced as the stock market drops precipitously -- along with your retirement savings -- thanks to some corporate genius' innovative accounting practices.
Nominated by Mark Worden

straight to video: In Hollywood, it's to forego a theater release and market the movie directly to the home market through rentals and sales. On the dating scene, it's someone you'd entertain at home but wouldn't want to be seen squiring around town.
Nominated by Kevin Gillogly

strategery: After being coined by Saturday Night Live writers to poke fun at George Bush, one group of presidential advisors with a sense of humor named themselves "The Strategery Group." Now it seems every talking head on TV uses "strategery" without realizing there's no such word.
Nominated by Ward Smith

strategic alliances: Why would you have a business alliance that wasn’t strategic?

strategic partnerships: Why would you have a business partnership if it wasn’t strategic in nature?

strategically contemplate: To consider the long-term ramifications. In other words, to think beyond the end of your nose.
Nominated by Steve Floyd

streaking: Connecting to the Internet without a firewall, virus protection or spyware protection, which is about as stupid as the '70s campus craze for which it's named.
Nominated by E. Lachaine

street cred: Street credibility. The quality marketing and advertising agencies look for when selecting a spokesperson to pitch products to urban youth. 50 Cent and Allen Iverson have it. Tiger Woods doesn't.
Nominated by Fritz Liess

stretch goal: A target so far beyond the seeming capabilities of a group or company that it appears at first to be impossible. Of course, it often still appears impossible to achieve at project's end, too.
Nominated by Beth Wegerbauer

subject creep: The tendency for an e-mail list or newsgroup discussion to veer wildly off topic while the subject line remains the same.
Nominated by Andrew Hargreave

success virus: Updated version of "success breeds success." In companies, it occurs when a single small success buoys the staff in such a way that it spreads like a virus leading to a series of "wins."

Sudden Paycheck Detachment Syndrome: The numbing depression caused by suddenly losing your job. Coined by Kevin Mireles, who launched his own job-hunting Web site (FindKevinaJob.com) after suffering SPDS.

Sudden Reputation Death Syndrome: Occurs when top execs with sterling reputations (or at least darlings of Wall Street and the media) stumble triggering a downward spiral that gets them booted. Coined by Fortune magazine. Examples: Jeff Skilling at Enron, Jacques Nasser at Ford.

suite of options: A favorite in the technology world. Users no longer have choices, menus or options, they have a "suite of options" --   thanks to the "suite of tools" made available by a "suite of programs."
Nominated by Andrew Graham

surfer's voice: The inattentive, half-hearted tone (punctuated with surreptitious tapping of a keyboard) that means the person on the other end of the phone is more focused on surfing the Web, reading e-mails and trading instant messages than listening to you.

surgerize: To have surgery. "Her face had been surgerized."
Nominated by Don West

surge space: The extra space required (which usually doesn’t exist) to temporarily house people, desks, inventory, etc., while you renovate or expand your offices.
Nominated by John Mielke

swag: Swag has a lot of legitimate definitions. Pirates' booty was called swag. And the promotional freebies marketers hand out at trade shows are swag. But the buzzword we’re referring to is an acronym. You "swag" it when you need some quick, ballpark numbers to back up your new product idea. How much will it cost? How much revenue will it bring in? Stands for: Scientific Wild Ass Guess or Systematic Wild Ass Guess.

swankoplex: A cinema multiplex with a "first class" seating section (with extra wide leather chairs), cocktail lounge, restaurant and concierge service. The first one, naturally, was in L.A.

sweet spot: No, it's not your local candy store. In fact, it's another sports term that has migrated into business. In sports, it’s the part of the bat, golf club, tennis racquet, etc., that is most effective when striking the ball. Result: A perfect shot. "I hit it in the sweet spot and the ball just sailed." In business, the meaning is similar. Example: Pricing in the sweet spot means setting the price where it achieves the most profit.
Nominated by K Hochman

swiped out: An ATM or credit card that no longer works because the magnetic strip is worn away from overuse.

Swiss-knife effect: To be overly impressed with a product’s design only to discover later that it functions poorly in real-life situations.
Nominated by Harry Karadimas

sympvertising: Adverstising that sympathizes with the plight of consumers in the hope of selling them something. Example: 'Recession Special' (2 franks and 1 drink for $1.95)

synlapse: A neural transmission problem when, in your "Golden Years," you find yourself in the kitchen "wondering what you are here after." A modification of synapse.
Nominated by Thomas King

synopsize: To condense the details of a boring, two-hour meeting into a briefer - yet still as boring - version. T-shirt, mug available
Nominated by Cindy Erwin

synthespian: The merging of animation with a real actor to create a computer-generated character that's incredibly lifelike.
Nominated by Mark Worden